26.

As I sitin the coffee shop, gathering a thought or two trying to figure out how to deal with this being twenty six shit.

I remember at some point in my teen years I would daydream about being at this point and how amazing it would be. I dreamed of being with my soul mate. Being a full time writer. Having all my shit together. Shit I even dreamed of having children by now. No one ever said “girl bye, it don’t work like that.” There was no blueprint, no magical map that pointed me in the direction of any of this shit. Nothing can prepare you for life better than LIFE.

I haven’t found my soul mate but I have loved up on myself more than I could have ever imagined I would when I was 13. I don’t have children and I am happy about that. I never wanted a situation like my childhood (absent father) so I chose to wait. Inever wanted to settle and that’s why the soul mate shit is somewhat a fairytale in my eyes. No one prepares you for multiple heartbreaks. No one prepares you for losing friendships. No one prepares you for the breakdown. No one prepares you for the come up. You just deal. It shapes your character, your morals.

You eventually learn that the path your walking is a path of choices. No you don’t get a fairy godmother. You get LIFE. As I’m still trying to figure shit out I will remember that it’s some mystic shit..some things you can’tpredict. Some things you’ll imagine but won’t happen but that’s okay… your okay.