“A love that must be forgotten.”


Have you ever met someone for the first time and felt like you met them a million times before.

It felt like a dream that you didn’t want to wake from. It felt like you wanted to bathe in the moment forever but you knew you couldn’t.

I met someone like that, he was the greatest and (quickest)feeling I had ever known. Just writing this gives me chills.

It was so pure, it felt like it was magic. Maybe it was just me though. Magic don’t come your way everyday, so you can understand why I’ve held on to such a feeling like this one.

But…I can’t touch you because you’re so far away, I can’t breath your air because you aren’t close and it feels like my heart is ripping from my chest every time I think of the moments we shared.

I know you don’t feel the same because if you did, you would tell me.

I know that your mind is occupied, but so is mine and you still find your way into my thoughts creating a pattern in the dark.

It was such a sad moment to watch you walk away leaving me here with this feeling, it made me feel hopelessly in love with a stranger.

I am here to be honest because I must be in order to heal myself of this deep rooted feeling. It doesn’t work though because even when I’m honest I still feel myself feeling you.

It’s weird how this all is, it’s weird how you find your soulmate and in two seconds they’re gone like the wind that brushes across your face on a windy day.

I can’t stop this feeling and every since you I’ve tried to find it within myself because I figured if I could love anyone as much as I felt for you I would be okay.

When I decide to tell you how I feel I just run away because I can’t face the fact that you slipped away, never to be returned again. Never to let me feel your skin on mine, never to let my heart beat float into yours, never to see your eyes again.

Your brown skin is what I dream of most, your skin is such a melanated masterpiece I just can’t erase out of my memory. What the fuck has gotten into me, I ask myself this daily.

I ask myself am I living in an illusion that has me thinking that this could be love. I doubt you even think of me. Even if you don’t, I do and the suffering I feel from it I can’t describe instead I ride the feeling, I hide the feeling because it’s better that way.

At least I can think clearly once these thoughts are out, at least I can say I…tried.

I may be insane but I’m honest.

-Imani Smith

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